The new bible!
Name: Fuck You And Die bible.

Genisis: 

so lonely i should make something ok i will make a human 

GOD!": hello adam 

hay god 

God: dont eat apples or do bitches 

ooops! 

:god: i am so angry inside!! 

noah: hey everybody get on my ark cause its gonna rain 

Dinosaurs: no way your arc is gay 

mammals: lol bye dinosaurs 

THEN ABRAHAM BEGOT JOSEPH AND GAVE HIM A COAT 



Exodus: 



Moses: king of england, let my jews go 

king: Nope 

Moses hope you like frogs 

KiN:G ok you can have them, although they were a cheap labor force (haha get it because they are jews) 

Moses: i know a shortcut through the ocean 

JEWs: ok 

THEY GO THROUGHT HE OCEAN 

Indians: wtf 

jews: have some blankets 

Indeans: hay thanks! 

Pocohontos: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! oh too late 


Psalms 
verses 1: 
oh god you are so cool 
and the devil drools 
i cant wait til i die 
so i can be with you 
and we can eat apple pie 


chapter 2: jesus 

joe: omg mary you got fat 

mary: the baby jesus is inside of me 

joe: oh crap 

3 wise men: hey i heard there was a baby in here 

joe: yea he is sleeping by the cows 

3 wise men: he is jesus you know 

mary: yea 

THREE DAYS LATER 

Romans: king of jews, we crucify you 

Mary: MAH BABY! 

THREE MORE DAYS 

jews: yay it is easter time! 

family guy: damn longears stealing easter from jesus© 


revolutions 

DIRTY GAY FAG: hay wherd all the christians go? 

god: i took them 

communists: lets get barcodes on our heads 

THEN BIG GIANT SCORPIANS COME OUT OF THE GROUND AND EAT PEOPLE 

devil: i want to fight jesus 

THEY FIGHT 

god: jesus wins 

now everyone lives in happy except for the people who went to hell.